


Deal Hearts

by Eliott_Rust



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 14:42:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20816849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliott_Rust/pseuds/Eliott_Rust
Summary: Axel cannot stand Saix's indifference any longer. Everything crumbles down around him. Luxord tries his luck. And wins.Maybe Luxord is wiser than he's given credit for, but surely Axel is the King in the land of bad decisions.





	1. Chapter 1

“-Hey, hot stuff. ”

Axel narrowed his eyes without turning to face the man who arrived behind him. Neither did he try to greet the newcomer in any way.

“-So, I heard the boyfriend was giving you the cold shoulder again and you finally dumped him?  
-Luxord.  
-Himself, for your pleasure.  
-Cut it, man. I’m not in the mood for your little games tonight.  
-Ah, I’m wounded. When I’m the only one who came all the way up here to try and cheer you up…”

Axel let his head fall into the palm of his right hand with a heavy sigh as his elbow was resting on the railing of the terrace. In front of them, the TV screens on the buildings were filled with white noise. Glowing in the night and wrapped in the colourful hues of neon lights. Desperately empty.

How did Luxord even know about him and Saix? Axel stopped seeing him a while ago already, and nobody ever mentioned that between the dull walls of the castle. During daytime, he and Saix acted nothing out of the ordinary. Didn’t that creep have anything better to do than spying on him?

“-You’re such a gossip, I swear. Seems you have way too much free time. Besides… Saix ain’t my boyfriend. My boyfriend … I lost him a while ago.  
-Ha, poor thing. Don’t you need a little support here?  
-Why would you care? You have no heart and me neither. Look, I’m tired already. Can’t you just leave me alone?  
\- Oh, but you’re mistaken, sweetcakes. I have hearts. More than you’d need.”

Axel rolled his eyes, but rose an eyebrow.

“-Hearts with an s, like in plural?”

Unexpectedly, Luxord chuckled. Axel sighed once more. What could this weirdo want from him again? Didn’t he know that nobodies didn’t laugh? The redhead shook himself from these pointless thoughts. Luxord _was weird_ anyway, there wasn’t possibly much to give a second thought about concerning this man.

“-Like in plural. Always have hearts up my sleeves. Didn’t you see that one coming?”

Again, he laughed as he cast the eight of hearts in Axel’s direction. The younger man caught the card in mid air, only to discard it on the rail guard before him without a care. 

“-Please. Not in the mood for stupid puns or cheap card tricks either. Don’t you ever talk about anything else?  
-Well, I could, but you certainly wouldn’t like it…  
-As I said, cut it. What is it that you want?  
-My eight of hearts.”  
  
The redhead swallowed hard and rolled his eyes again. Certainly, Luxord wasn’t afraid to sound ridiculous, he had to give him credit for this.  
  
“-I thought that maybe since you are available now, I could test my luck and get a taste of those pretty freckles.”

Axel swore he could actually hear Luxord’s grin at those words. The blonde guy came closer, resting his elbows on the rail guard next to the other man. Axel didn’t make a move.

“-Seriously. Have those crappy pick up lines of yours already gotten you laid before, like, ever?  
-You tell me.  
-Well, I’m afraid, not tonight.  
-What a shame.”  
  
The eight of hearts was still resting just before Axel. With his pointer finger, he pushed the card back in its owner’s direction as his thoughts went rogue.

Everything that was still standing by sheer will was collapsing around Axel. For six long years, every night, he had crawled into Saix’s bed, opened his legs for him, and begged his friend to fuck him to dull the nothingness that he felt.

This was the body of his lover in his arms, night after night. Yet, Axel felt nothing of that warmth, that closeness, that rush of adrenalin whenever their skins brushed against the other. There was only arousal, an unbearable pleasure and then nothing was left. They felt like strangers sharing memories that didn’t belong to them. Like a fading dream. Oh, how did he miss Isa’s soft smile whenever they were fucking and their eyes met. One night, Axel caught himself wishing his lover was with him. And he suddenly felt Isa’s length pulsating in his innermost.

One single tear escaped from his left eye and Axel wiped it away before it became visible. He brought his hand to cup Saix’s face, green eyes still expressionless, yet unbearably sad. He caught a fickle light in Saix’s golden irises, almost caught a glimpse of the blue hue that should never have turned into this mess, but the other averted his eyes and the moment was gone.

_“-How can I miss you so much while you’re balls deep into me? Am I just lying to myself? Is this a nightmare or were we just a beautiful lie?” _

One night, a few weeks after that, Axel didn’t show up in Saix’s bedroom. The latter made no comment. The stern young man didn’t even show that he had noticed Axel’s absence. But Axel didn’t sleep at all for a while. He remained curled up in a corner of his bed or he simply didn’t even bother going to his bedroom at all, wandering on the roofs and staring at the Moon.

He tried to convince himself this was the best decision.

And for a while, he almost managed to believe it. 

Luxord laid a hand on Axel’s forearm, bringing the young man back from his reverie, his gentleness foreign, unexpected, definitely dubious but suddenly very welcome.

“-For someone without a heart, you sure look awfully down.  
-Even more so for someone standing on top of a building, ain’t that right?”

Axel almost smiled at the other’s stupid chuckling. Luxord caressed his arm seductively.

“-So, how about you spend the night?”

The redhead picked the card up, looked at it like it held all the answers to life’s deepest questions, and pocketed it.

“-Your room, which one was it, already?”

Without a word, Luxord opened a portal and grabbed Axel by the wrist, leading the path though the darkness.

His room was as bare as any of the other rooms of the castle, however, there were a bunch of card decks scattered on the rug, and a few other ones neatly piled on a small desk. Axel didn’t pay much attention to his surroundings. There was a hollow pain in his chest, something tight and that was cutting his breath. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what.

Luxord motioned him so that they were face to face, then he ran both his hands through Axel’s mane and brought him closer to his body.

“-Is this ok to kiss you?”

The redhead's brain broke a fuse. 

_What? A kiss now?_

A kiss: to touch or press your lips against someone’s, to express a greeting or to express love.

_A greeting, yeah, my ass. As if feelings were still something anyway._

Axel’s voice sounded awful and shaky.

“-Why a kiss?  
-Why not? Feels good, doesn’t it? You don’t have to, though.”

Ages ago, Saix and he had dropped the habit. Kissing felt even emptier than their meaningless sexual intercourses.

The younger man turned his head away and Luxord didn’t push him. Instead, he chuckled again, keeping Axel in his embrace, but leaving him enough space to distance himself.

“-Hey. It’s alright. No pressure. I don’t bite.  
-You look awfully cheeky. Happy, even.  
-Why shouldn’t I be? I wanted you and you’re here.  
-Cos you _cannot_ as in _don’t have the ability_ to be happy?  
-Years of poker.  
-Eh?  
-I’m a master at faking emotions. Guess old habits die hard.  
-Must come in handy, for sure.”  
  
Axel took one more step backwards and Luxord brought his hands to his waist, if only to prevent him from leaving already. But the redhead didn’t move further away.

“-It sure helps.  
-What’s the point in faking it, however?  
-What makes you so sure I’m faking it?  
-Cos we’re nobodies.  
-We’re a bunch of weirdos, every single one of their own kind, that is for sure.”

Luxord didn’t grant Axel with anything less cryptic than this answer, and brought him back into his embrace, a cheeky grin on his mug. The redhead couldn’t repress his body from lightly shaking at what was yet to come. The other man looked at him, a seemingly too genuine expression of concern adorning his features. Axel coughed a little, taken off guard by too many alien things all together. After years spent fighting against a wall of indifference, Axel couldn’t help but find that this man was faking it a little too well. It made Axel uneasy, awaking things long forgotten. He stuttered.

“-I’ve nev… I’ve never done this with anyone except …”

He was silenced by a gloved finger on his lips.

“-Hush. I get it. It'll be okay.” 

The sound of Axel’s coat getting unzipped made everything at once surreal and far too real. Luxord kissed every part of him that he was uncovering, sending shivers in all of the young man’s body. It was obvious that the blonde man was determined to take things slow. He took off his own coat before pushing Axel backwards on his bed, covering him in needy kisses and pawing at every single muscle that he could reach.

Surely, this guy was experienced. For once, Axel didn’t expect anything from what was happening, he hoped for nothing, and let himself be drowned in nothing but physical pleasure.

No foolish expectations for something to unlock itself. That lack of pointless hope felt almost comfortable. 

He wrapped his arms around Luxord’s shoulders, his whole body surprised when he realized how used he was to holding on to his lover and nobody else. Even with his eyes shut, everything was different. Luxord’s smell, Luxord’s frame, the way Luxord was touching him, the way he took him in his mouth and he made him curse between his teeth.

“-Take your time, hot stuff. We can keep going all night if we’re up to this. Sex, and nothing but.” 

And here Axel thought that he could never give himself away. The gambler had him open up, he discovered how to possess him _whole_ without even trying, just because he looked like he _cared_. A gust of ice passed upon the young man’s frame as skilled hands brushed over his nipples. How long since he had felt like that with his lover already?

Axel could not remember. Every single time Saix and he had sex, they only seemed to end up drifting farther apart from each other. Instead of comforting them, the memories, the regrets, the things left unsaid, all that they couldn’t forget slowly began piling up like a wall between them.

Axel and Luxord had sex all night. The redhead let himself be driven into whatever the other had in mind, opening his mouth, bending every way, licking, closing his eyes and wiping semen away from their bodies. Axel felt unbearably dirty for what they were doing, yet he enjoyed it for what it was. Sex, and nothing but, indeed.

The early morning found them lying side by side on Luxord’s ravaged bed. The blonde man pulled the covers over their exhausted frames, and, to Axel’s surprise, he wrapped an arm against him so that he could rest his head on his chest. Once again, the red haired young man started crying. This time, he did nothing to hide it. He fell asleep curled up against Luxord, who hummed some soothing notes without thinking twice.

_”-Poor kid."_

The day after, Axel finished zipping up his cloak, and he found Luxord’s card in its pocket. He stared at it without a word for a while, all the awkwardness and regrets from what happened the night before falling upon him. He hadn’t felt this good in so long, and he was disgusted at himself. His new lover broke the silence, the smug smile of someone who’s seen a few things plastered on his face.

“-Y’know, sweetcakes, I think you’re simply asking your boyfriend to play a hand that he doesn’t possess.”

Axel shot him a death glare.

“-Can’t you cut the gambling blabbering?  
-Told you I could, but that you wouldn’t like that. Anyway. Since you’re asking so nicely, I’ll explain. You’re expecting Saix to give you things that he cannot give you because he’s lost them too. You’re expecting things to magically get fixed, just because you’re together. Have you ever considered how he could be feeling about that? Can you imagine what you’re putting him through, since he knows he simply cannot give you what you’re hoping for?”  
  
Axel’s eyes widened, then turned into emerald slits. Luxord recoiled slightly, because his lover’s burning aura suddenly got a hundred degrees warmer.

“-Fuck you, Luxord. Don’t start lecturing me now.  
-You can keep the card. After all, you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve already, now aren’t you, hot stuff?”

Axel could still hear Luxord’s chuckles even as the empty void of his shadow portal closed upon him. Once again, his eyes fell on the card that was still in his hand. He briefly considered throwing it away, but slid it in his pocket instead. 


	2. Chapter 2

Things were finally becoming comfortable. Well, that is, on Luxord’s side, at least. He and Axel had been spending a few nights together already and the gambler was slowly getting used to his lover’s unusual reactions. Luxord prided himself in being ready for any challenge that Lady Luck sent his way, and Axel definitely was a valuable one. 

Axel’s tears, whether he concealed them or he let them show, were a recurring event each time the two men slept together. Some nights, Luxord even started doubting the reason why the redhead cried so hard. Was he reminding Axel of some bad memories or something like that? He briefly considered asking him, but decided against it. Luxord was afraid that being curious might drive Axel away from him. Besides, being curious inside the walls of that castle often equalled being awfully lacking any sense of self-preservation. The blonde man knew better. 

So Luxord shut his trap – at least for the moment being. 

Weeks went by. Every time he could, Luxord found himself waiting on the roof where he first sweet-talked Axel into sleeping with him. Some nights, the redhead showed up. Luxord never understood why he came. Seeking pleasure? Probably. Axel looked neither too impatient nor really indifferent to see Luxord, and the latter decided he could go with Axel just sharing his bed, whatever his reason might be. 

Truth was that Axel caught himself enjoying being greeted with a bright smile instead of impassiveness every time he went to that roof. It was a nice change. The gambler being there almost every time Axel decided to climb on the building was surprising, but Axel shrugged it off. There was an easy explanation. After all, why would Luxord not be there? Axel complied to anything he could ask for whenever they had sex. Some guys surely valued such an obedient slut in their bed. Seeking pleasure probably was motivation enough. 

That night again, Luxord smiled and welcomed Axel with open arms.

“-Hey, hot stuff. I was hoping you’d feel lonely tonight.”

Axel grinned coldly, but his eyes were smiling. 

“-How dare you rejoice from my misery?  
-I’ll make you forget what misery is.”

It was Axel who opened the portal to Luxord’s room, and he went first. If anything, the blondie had taught him a pleasurable thing or two about sex, and like an affection-starved teenager, Axel couldn’t get enough of this, however unwelcome such desires might be. 

Forgetting about everything was the ultimate relief down in that castle. 

They ended up on the bed seconds after the portal closed itself. Luxord had dropped his coat upon entering and Axel’s one already was wide open. Caresses decayed into bites and moans, and the rest of their clothes was discarded haphazardly. Sex quickly got hot, a mess of limbs intertwined and the brutal noise of skin against skin filling the naked room. Suddenly, Axel rocked his hips hard to meet one of Luxord’s thrusts, and everything went astray. The sensations became unbearably perfect. Lost in the heat of the moment, Luxord lustfully kissed Axel, only to withdraw immediately, blue eyes apologetic.

“-I… Sorry. Got a little overwhelmed.” 

The haunting green eyes that stared at him, though, were unusually calm. 

“-It’s ok, I don’t mind.” 

Axel brought both his hands behind Luxord’s head and dragged him back against his lips. How long since he had been kissed like that? Months? Most likely, years. It felt too good right at that moment to give it any second thought. 

Guilt? Maybe later. 

The redhead kissed back eagerly, pouring some meaning into something where it didn’t belong, wildly impaling himself on Luxord’s dick, uncaring about anything right then. 

Luxord gave into Axel’s kisses, fucking him as hard as the redhead wanted him to, burying himself to the hilt inside of him. Something warm was spreading inside his chest, it itched but in a kind of good way. Luxord didn’t know what to make of this, so he focused on Axel instead. He smiled as he watched the man he was mercilessly ruining so obviously enjoying himself before succumbing to a violent orgasm. 

Axel kissed Luxord again. Luxord had managed not to be sent over the edge by his moans when the redhead came, but that kiss got the best of his self control. He came inside Axel’s body, taking one last kiss in a hurry like he was afraid that the other would change his mind and push him away once pleasure had receded. 

But Axel didn’t. He smiled at Luxord who summoned all his might to pull out softly, then he landed unceremoniously face first in his pillow next to the redhead with a trail of laughter. 

“-Fuck.  
-Yeah, that’s the word.” 

When Luxord finally got down from his orgasm high and turned to Axel again, he saw a tear rolling on his cheek. Once more. Without really thinking about it, he wiped it away with his thumb. 

Would he dare asking that time? After all, Axel seemed to be quite receptive when they were having sex that night. He also had just given him something that he never thought he’d get from him. 

A kiss.

Maybe that night was the right time to ask. 

Even if Luxord knew he might not like the answer he was likely to get. 

“-What’s wrong, hot stuff? Why crying every time?”

Axel half-sobbed, half laughed. It came out like a croak and it was horrible. 

“-You want the truth? I have no idea. I don’t know. I shouldn’t even be able to do that. It’s stupid, right?” 

One thing about Axel was a given. The guy was weird, and maybe, there wasn’t much to give a second thought about. 

But maybe, there was. 

Luxord pondered. Perhaps they were all mistaken. Perhaps their curse wasn’t to be unable to feel anything, but to be unable to recognize emotions when they felt them. That very idea was painfully crippling.

The older man decided not to share his thoughts with the redhead. Anyway, a brief scan of his last few years only could infirm that reasoning. Luxord hadn’t genuinely felt anything in years. Nothing except that slight outburst a little earlier, which decidedly was only caused by pleasure. So, instead, he caught Axel in his arms and cradled him against his chest. 

“-It ain’t stupid. It’s … Unexpected, at worst. I was just afraid I might be the one who made you cry like that.  
-Haha, no. It’s not your fault at all.  
-You know I’ll treat you right, don’t you?”

Axel pushed his face against Luxord’s chest, landing a kiss between his pecs. Of course he knew that, and it only made everything more uncomfortable. Luxord would probably prove to be a caring and gentle lover. Wait, scratch that. Luxord had already proven it. 

And somehow, Axel really wished he could simply enjoy this. But he couldn’t.

And yet, how Axel wished that the one cuddling him so shamelessly was someone else. The very idea made his eyelids burn again, but he caught the tears back and tried to focus on what was good instead. Unlike Saix, Luxord never seemed to embarrass himself with what he should or should not do. He seemed to act and react just like he wanted to, he never –at least openly- judged Axel for his tears, and that attitude amongst this rat hole of uptight asses was kind of refreshing. 

Would it not be better to just accept what has been lost and move on?

No. Axel couldn’t do that. The very idea made cold sweat run between his shoulder blades. He moved away from Luxord’s embrace, shifting to a sitting position on the bed. He felt Luxord’s hand grabbing his as he made a move to rise. 

“-Are you ok, Axel?”

He forced a smile. 

“-Not right now, but I will be. I just need some air.”

A faint sadness passed on Luxord’s features, and that was unexpected too. He promptly put his mask back on, but too late. Axel hadn’t missed it and he chuckled bitterly. 

“-Why would you care anyway?  
-For the very same reason that makes you cry: I fucking have no idea, man.”

They both laughed without buying it and Luxord caught Axel’s hand again as the redhead was gathering his clothes. 

“-Say, will you come back?”

Axel forced himself to look at Luxord as his mind was scattered in a million doubts and what ifs. What he truly wanted right then was far from what he thought he desired. Without really acknowledging it, Axel answered honestly, for once.

“-Not tonight. But I will.”


End file.
